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8.​ ​The weight of love (Peter​’​s story)

from Blessed is the Man by Dale Carl Fredrickson

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    Blessed is the man is the story of how men can grow their capacity for mutual LOVE and become openhearted, emotionally expressive, and relationally connected. It challenges toxic masculinity that has caused woman and children harm through unchecked anger, emotional repression, and self-reliant pride. This album uses poetry and the sounds of banjos, mandolins, saxophones, violins, and guitars to inspire men (and those who care about men) to let LOVE shape their lives and write their stories.

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lyrics

The weight of love (Peter’s story)

i am a storm chaser
i am a raging sea of curiosity
i am a strong wind of passion and action

i’ve built my life on the next catch
marketplace profits and
the mysteries of the sea
my net worth
i keep casting nets
my last payload
i’m a half a lake ahead

don’t ask me to make sense
of my feelings
i am my father’s son
i’m okay
i’m okay
i say over and over
especially when
no one is listening

he was the wind
that cut through
the aroma of dead fish
and seaweed
he said to me
“you are a boulder”
i laughed and burst out
“one who sinks”
he smiled and said
“i hope so”
“not today” i threw back

his friendship is a full sail
a snapping wind of discomfort
a smooth breeze of rest
he is the surging waves
unsettling my sailing seas
he called me a ‘rock’
i’m treading water
i’m afraid of drowning
i’m scared of losing
what keeps me afloat
my anchors of small-minded prejudice
my closed fists of comfort and confidence

II.

when they came to sink him
with their snares
their unreflective fears and
raging need for conformity
i raised my voice
‘you are not taking him’
your ear for my heart
my hands shake my sword falls
again and again
i’m caught by the words
of his net
my promises are hot air rising
my words are snagged wings
and my ears have rocks in them

the powers that be shouted
‘sedition’ and ‘blasphemy’
an us versus them blindness
anger and violence
they tore apart his body
they tore apart his body
they tore apart his body



as i watched rubbing my eyes
with trembling lips i said
“i don’t know him
i don’t know him
i don’t know him”
three times leave me alone
i’m just like them
i am a shipwreck
my ears are ringing
i am a coward
i am a castaway
my name is petrified
there’s no time for grieving
i’m going fishing

III.

on the shoreline
of shattered seashells
and broken starfish
the risen one called
“hey boulder” he said
my heart’s in my sandals
i’m sinking with everyone
who feels the weight
of swords wielded
of promises broken
of mistakes and betrayals
with anointing oil on his lips
over a simple breakfast he asked
“do you love me?
do you love me?
do you love me?”
three times infinity

credits

from Blessed is the Man, released July 24, 2020

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Dale Carl Fredrickson Denver, Colorado

Dale is a poet from Denver, Colorado. He’d like to inspire the entire world but finds that inspiring himself and his family and friends is work enough. He writes and speaks about beauty and misery and his favorite story is the one about how love surprises us in the end. He fails a lot. On his best days, he lives by Samuel Beckett’s motto, “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” ... more

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