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Call & Response

by Dale C. Fredrickson, Poet

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1.
“Why did God become human?” She asks with sincere uncertainty. Isn’t it mysterious? God— sleeping in a manger nursing from Mary’s breast crying on Joseph’s arms. What does incarnation mean? “Why did God become human?” He asks with forthright skepticism. Doesn’t it all seem unbelievable? God— drinking sorrow’s poison crying in pain forsaken dying on a criminal’s cross. “Why did God become human?” The question whirls in our minds with heightened curiosity. Divinity swaddled by human flesh Kingdom come in a baby’s breathe Infinite being now finite frail contingent Could this child mean? God is not against us, in our minds, where fears are, suppressing our dreams. She peers into the makeshift crib and he sits beside her. Proud tears fall on her brown cheeks and he holds her. They listen to his breathing as life with the child begins. isn’t it astonishing? God— fussing in a manger crying from a cross sharing life with us. Could this child mean? God struggles with us, in our hearts, where love is, sharing our dreams. The child is born. Underneath the stars, Wise men search, Angels appear, and Shepherds hear. Underneath the stars The promise of love transforms all fears. Underneath the stars The weary, the wounded, the seekers here. A song fills the air. “Gloria, in excelsis deo.” “I hear salvation’s song,” she whispers. “Listen, lean near, and listen to the slow ocean of this child’s breathing; Calming, calling, drawing near.” By Dale C. Fredrickson
2.
I. when you startled me on the running trail proud coyote it was astonishing a fusion of mystery and wonder should i take my shoes off or race away? rather in the dirt we danced for a moment your eyes bright stars distant and defiant scanning prospects you’re fearless that’s why they fear you II. your coat is like josephs tan brown grey bold nimble are your steps your body relaxed upright but alert exquisite creature wily and warring your survival a struggle like Isreal’s master of environments intelligent adaptive flexible student of change outspoken nonconformist i’ve heard your battle cries resisting your wow-oo-wows insisting your diaspora life persisting your existence haunting stubborn and unbending taking your blessings how I wished my heart blazed like yours then you politely nodded and trotted away III. in that moment i remembered the dusty trails the cries and calling of my god from Bethlehem to Calvary justice insisting death resisting life persisting prophetic and pragmatic chutzpa and holy fire grace and mystery transfusing jesus,will you transform me? dance with me until the fire returns dance with me until the fire returns
3.
my god, my god why have you forsaken me? i’m a busted tambourine a banjo with broken strings a cacophonous symphony i’m a wallflower with two left feet my god, my god i’m a professional auctioneer my voice is hoarse from my urgent prattling do you hear me? can you help me? will you heal me? you don’t raise your hand your inattention is baffling your silence unsettling my cry for help is routine rhythmic pattern that swells again and again do you love me? do you love me? do you love me? don’t you see i’m suffering? my god, my god i’m the orphan can’t you feel my pulse? sighs of neglected nurture silences of love misshapen cries from wounds that will not heal your eyes look away you pay no attention your unconcern unnerves me my god, my god why have you forsaken me? i’m a refugee my body is here but my heart is buried i’ve been uprooted and anxious fears grip me these pains won’t let go my bones are bending i can’t stand this aching will you do nothing while everything is breaking? will you do nothing while everything is breaking? how does your heart not break? eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani my god, my god why have you forsaken me? my protest is prayer my heart’s a bruise who can fix this dusty tambourine? who can make this banjo resound again? is there any bounce for my two left feet? i thought you were the one who turns chaos into grace and beauty? am I wrong that you promised never to leave? why even speak of a love that could heal everything? my prayer is protest my cry reverberates from David in Jerusalem to Jesus on Calvary everyone who’s felt offbeat my god, my god why have you forsaken me?
4.
crucify the bullies in my head my head is full of troubling songs God really doesn’t love me God probably doesn’t care who would cry if I was gone tracks of doubt sound on sound babbling jabbering droning on faster and faster frenzied i’m trapped on a not-so-merry-go-round i don’t know how to slow down i don’t know why I hold onto lies i don’t know if I’ll outgrow them do you care if I drown there’s something capturing about your life there’s something about your call “Be still” there’s something compassionate about your death doubts keep jabbing, spinning can you crucify the bullies in my head? will you roll over fictions with a stone? won’t you raise me in the mystery of your creation song?
5.
I limped along the hiking trail, living in yesterday, until a doe and a fawn startled me. They sprang gracefully bounding effortlessly, over wildflowers and rocks, through pine trees and thistles, Landing and leaping; inches from the head of an indifferent snake. cutting the switchbacks and ascending the mountain. I stood captivated as their shadows disappeared. Freedom and finesse with each touch down and takeoff. A doe and her fawn hooves kissing the earth the forest floor their drum a praise song of wonder. When their dance fell silent, unanswered despair stirred, unresolved feelings swelled, slow tears fell from my cheeks, a strange mixture tasting of fear and failure, regret and salty longing, of dirt and death. Yesterday’s memories my forest thicket rocks and thistles and snakes my stomping grounds. I limped along the hiking trail and asked: Will I ever feel the graceful spring of wonder in my body again? Then the song of the doe and fawn resounded Leap away from the past and free the people that wounded you. Leap toward the present and let the way of love ground you. Spring to your future, spring to the wonder of people and places, spring to the work that is waiting for you, cut your own switchbacks and ascend the mountain.
6.
Anxiety woke me in the dark hours before morning raw wounds buried fears and dormant dreams are kindling within me sparks smoking snapping. Anxiety woke me in the dark hours before morning. Why must I carry this branding scar? Grief is just love that blisters on the inside, she sighed. Bursting pain is the beginning of healing, he consoled. Everything rising goes through the fires of resistance, she insisted. Anxiety woke me in the dark hours before morning my chest a forest fire burning churning smoldering. We are fired into life with a madness that comes from the gods, Plato warned. I couldn’t bear the anguish so I double knotted my shoes and ran. I erupted with a dragon’s fury as fresh air provoked my chest-flame Fumes of pain spewing into the air and within me rising again Can anything ease this restless wildfire? I cried. I saw the shimmering stars and my legs stopped pumping. In the mountain sky, the stars quieted me. Speckled across the dark horizon, stars sparkling. The flickering stillness pulled me close flying spheres of fire spoke to my aching. Aren’t we all burning diamonds passing? I prayed. Distant stars and human hearts not so different are they? Stars and hearts thermodynamic skyrocketing then fading in the dark hours before morning, I awoke. through blazing constellations could God be saying? “Planets are made by stars exploding. On the other side of a black hole is a universe expanding. Surrender to the mystery You’re becoming something new. Some fires can only be consumed.”
7.
Chrysalis 01:31
this forgotten Gospel that finds us here this peculiar grace that gives & takes quiet me before this ever-present mystery that conceals & reveals quiet me here this eternal beauty that frees & tethers quiet me on this day this incredulous paradox that lives & dies this pain bearing love the cross is a chrysalis three in one and one in three unity that invigorates this butterfly effect now soars within souls this divine life now sharing striving synergizing with those who serve and thirst this peculiar grace that heals & aches quiet me forevermore Dale C. Fredrickson
8.
Half True 01:44
half true forgive me God for my assumptions about you there's so much i don't know forgive me when i make you look like me it's scary admitting i don't know stir me as i lift my voice cry out name doubt return to you don't stop my heart is only half true trouble me Lord because i know my ways are not your ways but in your ways i'd like to grow lead me beyond familiarities complacency convenience narrow-mindedness because i know your ways are not my ways grace me God as i search run after inquire look high and low pursuing you forgive me God for my assumptions about you there's so much i don't know plant my life in the garden of Gethsemane grow me in the soil of death and life your ways and not mine i don’t want to fall asleep again i don’t want to fall asleep again
9.
my heart’s ignition spirit of god, you’re opening scene origin of breath giver of life strength for flesh spirit of god, you’re wind shaping mountains swirling waves carving out change spirit of god, you’re fire snapping through soul purifying heart making whole spirit of god, you’re water splashing with life pouring out salvation spilling over squelching strife spirit of god, you’re a cloud mysterious guide of faith towering billow of hope thick refuge of love spirit of god, you’re a dove wings carrying hope landing beside soul singing the words, my beloved come spirit, come boldly wake my weary life come as wind shaper fire starter water fountain calling dove guiding cloud come spirit, come swiftly! create in me again, again. create in me again you are my helper my advocate my steadfast life-breath my catalyst and sacrament my heart’s ignition you are my ruach my life-energy my heart’s victorious i’m a mountain i’m a wave i’m human i’m brave spirit of god, wind fire water cloud dove you’re inspiring breath and mysterious friend
10.
not like mine your heart is not like mine your pulse is the uprising mine is a flatline your heart is surprise mine is compromise your heart is a drum line mine throbs with resistance my heart is perplexed schizophrenic are the voices from culture from critics from institutions from family systems from doubts from fears from self ambition words conflicting i feel the contradiction with every pulse i’m an image bearer and an image breaker i’m open and closed i’m abundance and scarcity in one human body god, i’m flesh and bones i’m mind and spirit i’m excellence and mediocrity god, i’m so curiously human and i want to learn your rhythms but my heart is not like yours your heart is the sun the life-giving star and my heart is neptune the bleakest planet days become years i feel afar if your pulse is the catalyst, can you incite my heart? will you resurrect this life? you’re the conductor of heartbeat you compose every note you tune me to the kingdom’s cadence i want to learn your rhythms your melodies are horizontal and vertical you’re divinity and you’re humanity your cross beat resonates and i’m beginning to hear you became what i am so i can share in who you are eternity and humanity your cross is solidarity your resurrection quickens me i want to learn your rhythms teach me to sing your psalms excite me to create and not consume challenge my self-serving tendencies move me to forgive to love to serve convert my complacency with your inspiring harmonies accent my heart with grace peace compassionate creativity your anthem is reconciliation your music is medicine your melody is sanctuary now play within me play within me

about

Take a listen to these poems that I've been writing and tell me what you think. I'm calling this project "Call & Response." For the next year or so I'll be posting audio recordings of the poems I'm working on and I would love to hear your feedback. What poems sing? What poems don't work for you?

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released September 24, 2016

Album Artwork design by Aaron Purdy

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Dale Carl Fredrickson Denver, Colorado

Dale is a poet from Denver, Colorado. He’d like to inspire the entire world but finds that inspiring himself and his family and friends is work enough. He writes and speaks about beauty and misery and his favorite story is the one about how love surprises us in the end. He fails a lot. On his best days, he lives by Samuel Beckett’s motto, “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” ... more

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